Happiness

Happiness: bliss, cheer, cheerfulness, contentment, delight, ecstasy, elation, enjoyment, euphoria, gladness, hopefulness, joy, merriment, optimism, pleasure, rejoicing, or well being.

Such a simple word and emotion. So crisp, clear, and concise. But is it really that easy to understand, or better yet, experience?Could you explain in words what happiness is? Teachers always told me that you understood something the best when you get to the point where you can explain it to someone else.

One website I visited claimed happiness is the human’s natural state of being. Is this true? It you get rid of everything, all other thoughts and emotions, are you left with happiness?

People always see me and ask what’s wrong. Nothing is wrong, sometimes it just feels like there is nothing left. Nothing left to feel, nothing left to be desired. I just sometimes feel like an inanimate object, unable to move or converse, but still able to observe. I used to be loud and annoying. Now, I feel like a rarely even speak to anyone anymore. There is so much to observe in other people, I am paying more attention to what their eyes are saying than their mouths. Maybe the saying is true, maybe the eyes are the window to the soul. In that case, I hope nobody can see into mine. Sometimes, the unknown is best left that way.

“Smile! Be happy!”

I cringe at the sound of those words. Do people ever actually expect that commanding someone to be happy with actually work? I personally, would rather have someone show what they’re actually feeling than put on that fake, plastic smile that we all used to plaster on our faces at picture day in elementary school.

So, how does one achieve happiness? Must something actually be done? Can you force yourself to be happy? That’s what I want to know.

“the ugly truth”

So I went to the movie last night with a couple friends and we saw “The Ugly Truth.” The movie itself was quite entertaining, but it left me with a lot to think about.

For instance, in the film, one character, played by Gerard Butler, is a talk show host that attempts to break down all male-female relationships into “the truth.” According to him, men do not have any interest in romance or what women feel. All they want is sex. I know this is just a movie, but it still made me start thinking.

How much do men actually care? Is all they look forward to in a relationship sex?

Stars, and My Fascination With Them

So last night my boyfriend asked me why I like stars so much. To my surprise, and his, my answer was not simply “I don’t know.”

If you don’t already know, I absolutely LOVE stars. They are my favorite shape and I could stare at them for hours without getting bored.

So, after thinking for quite some time, I have figured out why I like them so much. First of all, the shape of a pentagram is amazing. As the daughter of a middle school math teacher, I have become very familiar with a video called Donald in Mathmagic Land. In the video, they point out how natural the shape of a star really is. It can be found all over the world, starfish, flowers, and the human body itself all have a pentagramal shape.If you want to truly appreciate this shape, watch the video I attached.

The pentagram has been used for centuries. The first known use of the pentagram was back on 3000 BC. Then the Pythagoreans discovered how mathematically perfect it was. The pentagram has been used in Christianity, Mormonism, Judaism, Paganism, Satanism, Wiccanism and other religions. It also is a perfect example of the Golden Ratio.

The stars in the sky are also quite amazing. Some of the stars we see in the sky are billions of years old. The oldest star in the Milky Way is called HE 1523 It’s 13.2 billion years old! It’s a little younger than than the age of the universe, which is 13.7 billion years old. Did you know there is an estimated 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars in the universe? It’s true! This isn’t the same as counting grains of sand on a beach though. Stars are huge!

Enough with the history and science lesson…

The thing I love most about stars is that everyone can see them. Your ancestors could have stared at the exact same stars you see driving home centuries later. Your neighbors across the street can look through their telescope and get an even closer image of the celestial bodies you are awed by. Someone half way around the world can see the same glimmer you do even though you are nowhere near them. The light we see could be just now reaching Earth and the star itself could have died years ago. Looking at the stars really puts into perspective how small you really are. There is so much out there we still don’t know about and maybe never will. I love how every time I see a shooting star, I make a wish and wonder how many other people made a wish on that same one and who’s wish will come true. I love how no matter how hard I try or how many times I try, I can never draw a perfect star.

I view the star, shape and heavenly body, as a sign of hope, faith, power, and beauty.

Body Image

One thing I cannot stand is when somebody calls me “skinny.” I hate the word, the negative connotation, and the falseness of it when used referring to me.

I am currently 5’9″ and weigh 132 lbs. Using that information, I have a calculated BMI of 19.5.

The ranges are as follows:

• Underweight: Less than 18.5
• Normal weight: 18.5 – 24.9
• Overweight: 25 – 29.9
• Very Overweight: Over 30

As you can see, my weight is AVERAGE. Just because I am tall, does not mean I am “skinny.” When I look at myself, I don’t see a toothpick, or runway model or anything like that. I see a normal body with a little pudge in the belly area and a little jiggle in the thighs. The thing is, not many other people can see this because they compare my body with theirs or someone else’s. I am my own person, I was not meant to look like everyone else nor do I try to. I can say I feel fat or have a food baby, because if my waist is bigger than normal, that’s what it is. Everyone can tell me “shut up, you’re so skinny” or “I don’t see it,” but that’s the way it is with everybody. We are all our worst critics, especially with our bodies. Just because other people don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. I wish everyone would see me the way I am alone without comparing me to somebody else.

Well, that’s the end of that rant…

P.S. Positive synonyms for “skinny” are:  slim, thin, lean, slender, and sometimes slight or fine.

My Goals

1. Not judge people before I know them. (Hard)

2. Try to see every event from all angles or sides. (Already practicing successfully)

3. Keep optimistic no matter how down I am feeling. (Very Hard)

4. Try to find something about my body to appreciate and love everyday. (Slightly Hard)

5. Learn to manage my time wisely. (Hard)

6. Do all my homework and readings for my classes and try my best. ( Very Hard)

7. Live for today and not for tomorrow. (Slightly Hard)

8. Give 100% in everything I do. (Hard)

Impressions

“You form a first impression on a person within 20 seconds of meeting them.”

I have heard this fact so many times, and I don’t like it. How can someone get an accurate impression of you in only 20 seconds? That’s how long it takes to say the alphabet! I know I do it too, nobody can help it. What I am wondering is how much of the time is a first impression accurate? Can you really see a person the way they truly are after only 20 seconds of talking to them or even just observing them?

I wonder what people think of me when I first meet them. I think it depends on the setting in which we meet and the mood I am in. If I meet someone at church, I will not be the same as I would be at a party. Should you try to meet people in settings where you are most yourself or where you are the most well composed?

How hard do you have to try to change someone’s view on you after a bad first impression? Does it take 15 minutes of serious heart-to-heart conversation or two months of constant interaction?

I am going to start really trying to get to know everyone I meet before making assumptions about them. I don’t know if it is possible to stop myself from forming an opinion of someone before I know them, but I am going to try.

Flying

I love thinking about flying. Not in a plane, or with a jet pack or on the back of a giant bird. Just me and my body.

Just the thought of not having any part of you touching the ground, no pressure, no cares or worries. It sounds so exhilarating.

In my mind, flying would be more of a mental activity than physical. When I imagine flying, I am coasting through the air,  just me and the never-ending blue sky. I can close my eyes and feel the wind gently flowing through my hair, the sun warming my bare, outstretched arms. I can feel every single inch of skin, every tiny sensation. I can just smile and know that I am up high where nobody can touch me. Nobody can tell me what to do or how to act. It’s just me, myself, and I. Occasionally, I will sail through a cloud, the cool mist covering me like morning dew on the green grass of a field. When I emerge on the other side, I open my eyes and again, and am completely amazed by the miles of empty space in front of me.

That’s what I imagine flying would be like.

I wonder how different flying is for everyone who imagines it. Do some see themselves frantically flapping their arms, trying to get ever higher in the sky? Do some float like kites in the wind, not moving anywhere, just hanging in the nothingness that is the sky. Do some dive bomb, do barrel rolls, graze the ground, then shoot up again into the blue? Do some adventurers brave thunderstorms and dash between lightning strikes, feeling the hair in the back of their necks rise with intensity? Do some glide up to a beautiful cloud and gently lay on it’s surface, limbs outstretched, the sun reflecting off their surroundings?

However people see themselves, we all feel free. Is that what being truly free is? Having no constraints? No physical barriers, mental blocks, or emotional ties.

That wold be paradise for me…

I Have Finally Found Infinity